yeah. her people need her more than you do right now i'm sure. especially with a jerk like that for a ruler...... but in the meantime, you have the rest of us! and next time you see her, because i believe in next time, you can show her everything you've learned
thanks! also your secret's safe with me, don't worry
[He hasn't been completely honest and transparent with Sorey when it comes to who he's murdered and why, and a big reason is because he isn't sure that the pacifist therapist would agree. And yet all the vagueness only makes Amal seem like an even bigger murderer than he is. Fuck.]
exactly. you're a really smart kid. i'm sure anything you say will be taken seriously
[There's a long pause as he considers saying it or not. Committing it to the screen. In actual words. It's a theory he's pretty sure about now. But actually putting it down might make it real.]
Unless she comes here, I don't think I'll see her again. I think the peach did something to me. I can't go too far out of the city, and I feel. I don't know. Really connected to the Spirit Vein. Like I can't go too far away from it. I don't know for certain but I'm like.
Pretty sure that I'm stuck here.
[For good. Something that bothers him less, lately. He doesn't know if that's the influence of the Spirit Realm on him or the fact he's actually got a chance to grow and get better here. Maybe it's a mixture of both. ]
Hah, thanks. I don't think he'd approve.
[Sorey has been pretty supportive with his attempted murders, but he doesn't want to push it!]
[He had his suspicions, but... having it confirmed really hits different.]
yeah....... i had a feeling. that peach was bad news. still that doesn't mean there won't be a next time!!! maybe you'll see her again and she'll tumble out of a portal like we did or maybe she'll be reborn here like we're all destined to be, and you can become friends all over again
if it's any consolation i don't want to go back if we magically solved the problem overnight and someone gave me a choice, i'd stay here. i could never leave you in the lurch like that i could never leave raha like that either you're my family now
maybe this isn't what retiring from the adventuring life looked like in my head but i decided a long time ago that i was tired of running away considering i never thought i'd survive long enough to retire, i think i've done pretty well
When I had one of my early full moons I went into the national park. I can get out REAL far but after a point, it's like hitting an invisible barrier. It hurts to go too far out, so I think leaving the city is completely out, let alone this dimension.
But yeah. Maybe I'll see her again, one day. One way or another. Maybe I'll see all of them.
[Because he does miss them. Not as deeply and as fiercely as he did pre-peach, but it's still there. Just a quiet, occasional ache rather than a restless pain these days. Seeing that from Amal means the whole damn world, though. Varian's been working through a lot of his hangups thanks to Sorey, but the abandonment issues are still a pretty strong one.
It's nice to know he won't be. ]
Thanks, Amal. That means a lot. You're my family too. You wouldn't get rid of me even if I could leave.
Life surprises you sometimes! What did you have in your head? Was there more silk? Maybe a fancy pool?
wow you're really stuck huh..... it's a good thing this town has everything. people look at me funny when i tell them it's as big as my home country but it is. and it has even more people
i'm gonna keep hoping for you. it'd be nice to have a good long talk i'm hoping to have something like that myself with the ones i left behind something like... "thank you for everything. i love you. this isn't goodbye, just goodnight. i'll see you soon." yeah....... that would do a lot for me i think
[Amal doesn't say it, but Varian and Raha have done a lot to convince him to stay. Before he fell asleep for a month he was so set on getting home, but now... things have changed. He found something to live for, instead of a reason to die, and it has made all the difference.]
good!!!! i need you to keep me marginally sane
haha i never had any lofty aspirations honestly. i just wanted to see the world with raha and maybe settle down in a nice little house in kama when we got tired of traveling. the biggest thing im leaving behind is that i wanted to fix the system that let me down when i was growing up fund orphanages with the coffers, feed and clothe the poor, and take care of those who can't take care of themselves so my satrap had better keep his promise to me or we're gonna have words.
REALLY stuck here. And yeah. This city is way, way bigger than Corona is. And it's got a ridiculous number of people living here. I don't think I'll ever be really used to a population this big.
That's exactly it! Just the chance to let them know that I'm grateful for everything they did for me and to let them know I'm okay? More than, really.
[He's been doing so much better here, even he can see that. And while nothing will replace the people he had in Corona...well, he knows this is the place he belongs now- because of people like Amal and Fern- all the friends and family he's made here. This place is good for him. The closure from Corona would be...nice, though. ]
Hah! I'll do my very best with that one. No promises, I'm not THAT sane myself.
That's a really noble aspiration. Wanting to fix something that is broken. I know it won't be the same, but maybe you could do something in the city? There are still poor folks and orphanages, everything like that. You could still make a big difference to people's lives here- I know you made a huge difference to mine.
me neither. there's all sorts of nice things here though and of course the people!
i'm going to keep hoping we find a way to pass messages on. i'm sure it's possible with magic somehow that's the whole point of magic
[As usual, they're on the same wavelength.]
i'll settle for not getting sorey to kick me off his schedule at this point
i guess it does sound noble when you put it like that. i've just...... always wanted to help this whole adventure...... no, my whole life i was trying to do the right thing just in the wrong way if i'm in a place where i can do something meaningful to help then i will maybe it'll make up for all the trouble i caused other people that's...... why i'm still doing what i do
[You made a huge difference to mine. That makes Amal ache. God, he loves this kid.]
you're right!!! there are kids who need help here too maybe i should look into helping out or something we're not super wealthy or anything but i got time on my hands
That'd be kinda nice. I've made my peace with not being able to get back in touch again. It's...what it is, I guess. But it'd still be nice./span>
[Just to know they're okay, if nothing else. He worries about them. And here they are, always on the same wavelength. No wonder they fit together so well as a family.]
I can get that. I think for a while I was trying to do the right thing for the wrong reasons, too. But it's better now, y'know? A little clearer. Sure, we'll still make mistakes, but we'll figure it out between us, I'm sure we will.
[He meant it and he would say it a million times over!]
I don't think you need much money to do good? I think so long as you're willing to give up time and maybe a little kindness towards someone else, it'd do a lot for them.
that's right. we had a similar road to get here in some ways. from now on we've got each other to make sure we stay on the right path, and it's always gonna be that way.
[They're a family!!!]
no you're right it's just.... these things do take money. a LOT of money. i wouldn't be surprised if i had to loot a sunken palace again to finance my orphanage idea
[Narrator's voice: that is in fact what happened.]
i'd like to help out though, so i'll look into that. i know as much as anyone that spending a little time with someone can make a huge difference
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png){kind=small}
no subject
thanks! also your secret's safe with me, don't worry
[He hasn't been completely honest and transparent with Sorey when it comes to who he's murdered and why, and a big reason is because he isn't sure that the pacifist therapist would agree. And yet all the vagueness only makes Amal seem like an even bigger murderer than he is. Fuck.]
exactly. you're a really smart kid. i'm sure anything you say will be taken seriously
no subject
Unless she comes here, I don't think I'll see her again. I think the peach did something to me. I can't go too far out of the city, and I feel. I don't know. Really connected to the Spirit Vein. Like I can't go too far away from it. I don't know for certain but I'm like.
Pretty sure that I'm stuck here.
[For good. Something that bothers him less, lately. He doesn't know if that's the influence of the Spirit Realm on him or the fact he's actually got a chance to grow and get better here. Maybe it's a mixture of both. ]
Hah, thanks. I don't think he'd approve.
[Sorey has been pretty supportive with his attempted murders, but he doesn't want to push it!]
I really hope so, anyway!
no subject
yeah....... i had a feeling. that peach was bad news.
still
that doesn't mean there won't be a next time!!!
maybe you'll see her again and she'll tumble out of a portal like we did
or maybe she'll be reborn here like we're all destined to be, and you can become friends all over again
if it's any consolation i don't want to go back
if we magically solved the problem overnight and someone gave me a choice, i'd stay here.
i could never leave you in the lurch like that
i could never leave raha like that either
you're my family now
maybe this isn't what retiring from the adventuring life looked like in my head but
i decided a long time ago that i was tired of running away
considering i never thought i'd survive long enough to retire, i think i've done pretty well
no subject
But yeah. Maybe I'll see her again, one day. One way or another. Maybe I'll see all of them.
[Because he does miss them. Not as deeply and as fiercely as he did pre-peach, but it's still there. Just a quiet, occasional ache rather than a restless pain these days. Seeing that from Amal means the whole damn world, though. Varian's been working through a lot of his hangups thanks to Sorey, but the abandonment issues are still a pretty strong one.
It's nice to know he won't be. ]
Thanks, Amal. That means a lot. You're my family too. You wouldn't get rid of me even if I could leave.
Life surprises you sometimes! What did you have in your head? Was there more silk? Maybe a fancy pool?
no subject
it's a good thing this town has everything. people look at me funny when i tell them it's as big as my home country
but it is. and it has even more people
i'm gonna keep hoping for you. it'd be nice to have a good long talk
i'm hoping to have something like that myself with the ones i left behind
something like...
"thank you for everything. i love you. this isn't goodbye, just goodnight. i'll see you soon."
yeah....... that would do a lot for me i think
[Amal doesn't say it, but Varian and Raha have done a lot to convince him to stay. Before he fell asleep for a month he was so set on getting home, but now... things have changed. He found something to live for, instead of a reason to die, and it has made all the difference.]
good!!!! i need you to keep me marginally sane
haha i never had any lofty aspirations honestly. i just wanted to see the world with raha and maybe settle down in a nice little house in kama when we got tired of traveling.
the biggest thing im leaving behind is that i wanted to fix the system that let me down when i was growing up
fund orphanages with the coffers, feed and clothe the poor, and take care of those who can't take care of themselves
so my satrap had better keep his promise to me or we're gonna have words.
no subject
That's exactly it! Just the chance to let them know that I'm grateful for everything they did for me and to let them know I'm okay? More than, really.
[He's been doing so much better here, even he can see that. And while nothing will replace the people he had in Corona...well, he knows this is the place he belongs now- because of people like Amal and Fern- all the friends and family he's made here. This place is good for him. The closure from Corona would be...nice, though. ]
Hah! I'll do my very best with that one. No promises, I'm not THAT sane myself.
That's a really noble aspiration. Wanting to fix something that is broken. I know it won't be the same, but maybe you could do something in the city? There are still poor folks and orphanages, everything like that. You could still make a big difference to people's lives here- I know you made a huge difference to mine.
no subject
and of course the people!
i'm going to keep hoping we find a way to pass messages on. i'm sure it's possible with magic somehow
that's the whole point of magic
[As usual, they're on the same wavelength.]
i'll settle for not getting sorey to kick me off his schedule at this point
i guess it does sound noble when you put it like that. i've just...... always wanted to help
this whole adventure...... no, my whole life
i was trying to do the right thing just in the wrong way
if i'm in a place where i can do something meaningful to help then i will
maybe it'll make up for all the trouble i caused other people
that's...... why i'm still doing what i do
[You made a huge difference to mine. That makes Amal ache. God, he loves this kid.]
you're right!!! there are kids who need help here too
maybe i should look into helping out or something
we're not super wealthy or anything but i got time on my hands
[Raha's student loans aren't gonna pay themselves..........]
no subject
[Just to know they're okay, if nothing else. He worries about them. And here they are, always on the same wavelength. No wonder they fit together so well as a family.]
I can get that. I think for a while I was trying to do the right thing for the wrong reasons, too. But it's better now, y'know? A little clearer. Sure, we'll still make mistakes, but we'll figure it out between us, I'm sure we will.
[He meant it and he would say it a million times over!]
I don't think you need much money to do good? I think so long as you're willing to give up time and maybe a little kindness towards someone else, it'd do a lot for them.
no subject
that's right. we had a similar road to get here in some ways. from now on we've got each other to make sure we stay on the right path, and it's always gonna be that way.
[They're a family!!!]
no you're right
it's just.... these things do take money. a LOT of money. i wouldn't be surprised if i had to loot a sunken palace again to finance my orphanage idea
[Narrator's voice: that is in fact what happened.]
i'd like to help out though, so i'll look into that. i know as much as anyone that spending a little time with someone can make a huge difference
no subject
[It's what family does!!!]
Hah, yeah, that's a good point. Maybe one of the spirit realms will come up trumps for you there?
Oh, yeah, it absolutely does! I've got faith in you that you can do this.