Oh, not a lot. Just that you'd challenged him to a stubborn contest. [He takes the offered tea.] Thanks. [Blows off the top, and takes a little sip with a nod of approval. Varian knows what he likes at this point, he's a good kid.]
He wanted to know what a good gift for you would be, so... I told him. I'm sorry about that but I have a reason. [He holds the teacup in his hands and looks at Varian seriously.] We're both just helping a friend and I understand the urge to be noble and not want to take any credit or any payment for it, I really do. But for Gil, that leaves loose ends.
In his world—ah, not literally since I'm pretty sure he's from this one, but the world of business and everything—he feels if he doesn't give everyone their just compensation, then it means that he could have or should have done more to get people to help, to sway others to his side. To him, the exchange of payment for services is more than just a transaction. If you refuse payment it's kind of an insult to his honor.
To put it another way, if you did a favor for a fae, they would owe you. They don't like being in debt to people. I once tried to get away with that in a realm full of fae back on the First, and I almost started a riot because they wouldn't accept my help at all... They absolutely have to give you payment for services rendered. It's sacred to them, almost as if it's written in their very nature.
[There's a sort of darkness in Amal's eyes, a distance, as he glances off to the side.]
There's another reason, too. And that is... when certain people learn who is humble and trying to do the right thing, they'll see you as a mark. A gullible hero who they can manipulate into doing their bidding. They'll string you along with reassurances that you're doing the right thing, it's just a little bit further, and further, and further... And then you realize too late that you're someone's little puppet and you can't escape. You may not be out there slaying dragons, but you're brilliant and clever and very talented. There's no doubt someone else would take advantage of you wanting to do the right thing.
I... just don't want your guilty conscience to lead you down the same path I took.
[ As Amal talks, the panic that had been growing in Varian's chest eases. Oh, thank god, Gil clearly hadn't mentioned the wedding. His relief is quickly replaced with a tight, unhappy feeling in his chest.
He knows Amal is speaking the absolute truth. That he's found the core of the issue for the whole Gil Problem, something Varian hadn't even put two and two together with to make four. He frowns, looking down into his tea, cupping it in his hands. ]
He told me he was upset that no one had helped when Sampo asked for it first. And he's right... there was so much going on, but that- that shouldn't be an excuse for him not being helped. Even if things are at their worst, it... it feels terrible to know you need help and no one even stops to give you a second glance.
[He knows that first hand. He knows exactly what it feels like to go onto your hands and knees and plead, beg for help in a life-or-death situation and to have everyone turn away. The fact he was one of those people this time around is eating at him, it has a tight grip on his heart and it hurts. He swore he'd never be one of those people. That he'd help however he could, whenever he could. And in this, he has failed, and now Sampo's life is in the balance. ]
I understand why he threw money at it now. I do... and I accepted it. Jun convinced me it would be for the best, especially if I didn't use it for just me. That... helped.
[ Which is why he was coming to Amal in the first place. But what Amal says next causes his shoulders to tighten. There's no doubt someone else would take advantage of you wanting to do the right thing. His lips tighten to a thin line, his knuckles whitening as he grips the cup a little too tightly. He remembers Andrew. He'll never forget Andrew. How he whispered sweet promises of friendship and understanding when Varian was at his absolute lowest. How he said he understood and that Varian was no longer alone, when he felt more alone than he ever had in his life.
And then as soon as he'd created something he couldn't undo, Andrew snapped that up, and the entire kingdom was nearly razed to nothing because of that. Varian nearly gave his life for that mistake - would have done if Rapunzel hadn't stopped him. He didn't want to bumble himself into that again. He'd learned to be distrustful about who he let in. He didn't trust people easily at all.
...But trust doesn't always equate into being manipulated. He'd missed that. He lets out a long, slow, shaky breath, trying to find some calm again, trying to banish the spectre of Andrew from his mind.]
...I didn't think of it like that. I don't- I don't want that to happen again. [Gil isn't a problem, but he could well have been. Any of the number of people Varian stumbles over himself to help could have been and he just... didn't think of it. ] I'm sorry. I thought I was getting smarter about that.
[Sometimes, being a fool means being perfectly honest. Though he's worried, a bit, that he went too hard on this, and that's what caused this whole conversation. If Varian got mad at him for telling Gil about the scrap metal, it's something he'll weather. It'll be fine. He'll never give up on Varian, never, even if Varian gets really mad at him.]
Oh... you did? Good. That's a relief. Hahah, and here I thought you came to yell at me...
[He sets his cup down on the coffee table, and then wraps his arms around Varian's tight, worried shoulders.]
It's all right. It hasn't happened again, and I'm not scolding you. You haven't done anything wrong. I just... I worry about you. I worry about people taking advantage of you when I'm not around to stop it. I know Jun wouldn't let that happen, but I'm your dad. I'm going to worry no matter what. So, ah, I'm sorry for that.
[Varian glances up from his tea in surprise- he wasn't expetcing that. ]
What? No. I- I didn't come to yell at you. That's... you probably did the right thing there. He would have found something eventually. At least I can use this.
[ The rest of The Cubes will have questionable use, but that's a problem for future Varian!
His smile softens as Amal gives him a hug, and he quickly returns it. It takes him a moment to centre himself again - so he just rests his forehead against Amal's chest, taking in a few, deep breaths. No matter how big the ghosts of his past loomed sometimes, he knew he'd always be safe with Amal. He doesn't know what he did to deserve Amal in his life, but he's glad for it every day.]
I know... I really appreciate it a lot. You don't have to be sorry for worrying about me. It's... it's really nice.
[ Ah... but talking about Jun, he clears his throat. ]
Uh... actually, I should probably... I wanted to talk to you about something else. Preferably before the gossip train got to you and everything got out of hand. [ Okay, he can do this. He pulls back, clearing his throat. ] I uh- I wanna preface this that this is not happening for years yet! Like... after we finished school years from now. But me and Jun have been talking about getting married one day, and we know you and his dad would probably want a big, fancy wedding, so I took the money to save towards that. And kinda... slipped up that that was what it was for.
Hahah, that's good! [He's so relieved, though. Amal doesn't like making people mad unless they're people he doesn't like.] I'll help you move whatever you need, of course!
[While Varian centers himself, Amal gently runs his fingertips through his dark hair.]
I won't apologize anymore, then.
[He lets Varian pull back slightly, sensing the topic is changing and he needs a little space. But nothing could have prepared him for what comes out of Varian's mouth.]
You—
[His amber eyes grow huge.]
You're getting married?! Oh. Oh my gods. My baby's getting married! I'm going to be a father-in-law! [He grabs Varian by the shoulders for a moment, then cups his cheeks.] I'm so happy for you both. Even if you're only promised for now, that's still something to celebrate! I need to have Jun over for dinner more often now, and Abel too—
Wait, so... that's what this is about? You thought Gilgamesh would ruin the surprise? Awwww... hahah, you're so cute!
Thanks, Dad, I'll definitely need it. The HOA are gonna have kittens if we keep piling it on the front yard. I know you love fighting them and everything, but they'd be a lot better where I can actually work with them.
[ Oh boy. That's sure loud. A soft little laugh escapes him. He doesn't realise how nervous he was about this until he'd spoken it into the world. ]
Hah... I'm glad you're happy about it. And yeah, sure! It's a while away yet, we're pretty sure, but we wanna be smart about it, too, y'know? We're both gonna live a long time, so we don't have to rush. And yeah, I'm sure they'll both love to come around for your food. It's good!
[ He blushes a little, clearing his throat awkwardly. ]
I just... thought that was something you needed to hear from me, y'know. It's important.
Right, right. It's only practical. The HOA would be a lot easier to deal with if they had actual kittens, though, I'd like to make that point.
[Of course he'd love some kittens, but that's Amal for you. Anyway.]
Of course! You don't want to rush into anything. You'll know when it's time. Maybe you'll plan it two weeks in advance or maybe you'll just blurt it out, but whatever route you go, you'll know.
[Amal sure has a lot of faith in these two boys who rushed into everything else so far, but in his eyes, they've known each other a while. They didn't rush anything at all (and Amal doesn't want the details, no sir! he's good).]
It is. I'm so glad you told me and I didn't hear from someone else. [He gives Varian a little kiss on the forehead.] I would've been happy for you regardless, and probably played along since it's not the first time I've found out about a surprise, but it does mean a lot that you pulled me aside.
Dad if you want a kitten so bad, we can just go to the local shelter. It's okay, you're allowed a kitten.
[Amal please. Varian isn't away nearly enough for you to start empty-nesting with kittens.]
Yeah, and we wanna make sure school's over and done with first, y'know? But yeah... I', pretty sure we will know when the time's right.
[They took two wholeass years to figure themselves out and get together. The rest was just... catching up. His smile gentles at the kiss pressed on his forehead. He'd been worried about this and in retrospect he doesn't know why. He knows Amal would always support him and respect his choices, but after so long certainly not getting that from Quirin this means more to him than he can put into words. He feels so seen and supported, which is all he's ever wanted. Amal means so much to him, and he's done it so effortlessly. Like it wasn't hard to love and appreciate Varian at all. Varian doesn't know how he does it. Sometimes he thinks it's a magic all of Amal's own making.]
Hah, I know you probably would have. But...but it felt right you heard it from me. I didn't want someone else stealing that particular thunder. I really wanted to be the one to tell you. You... you deserve that.
[Oh lordy and here comes the planning. He knew this was the gamble he would have to take. He and Jun both knew that. A laugh bubbles out of him. ]
I- I mean we didn't really think about it. A meal would be nice though? We do both love your food.
I prefer the natural approach where I just find them one day. But I'll keep that in mind!
[He just loves animals. That's something that'll never change.
He may not have been there when Varian needed a dad growing up, but he's here now, and that's what matters.]
Hahah... well, I feel like the world's luckiest dad right now! Even though I know there's at least two of us. I'd better ask if Abel drinks. Maybe I'll get him some fancy wine.
[There is so much that needs to happen, but it can wait a little while.]
I'll whip something up and bring it by later. No pork, and not too spicy, yeah? I remember what he likes.
Hah, so basically the same process you take to adopting kids, huh?
[ He's teasing, mostly. But you did kind of just scoop him up and bring him into your life as a feral little mess, Amal. ]
Well, I know I'm lucky to have you. You've done everything for me, so you deserve it. And you know, maybe? I'm sure you and Abel can have a lot to talk about. A part of me is scared about the chaos you'll wrought together, but given you'll be family eventually, that's just a risk me and Jun are gonna have to run.
[ The Dads are gonna get together and they are gonna be The Most Dads Ever. They know this. ]
Yeah that's right! Thanks Dad, I know he'd really appreciate it too.
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no subject
He wanted to know what a good gift for you would be, so... I told him. I'm sorry about that but I have a reason. [He holds the teacup in his hands and looks at Varian seriously.] We're both just helping a friend and I understand the urge to be noble and not want to take any credit or any payment for it, I really do. But for Gil, that leaves loose ends.
In his world—ah, not literally since I'm pretty sure he's from this one, but the world of business and everything—he feels if he doesn't give everyone their just compensation, then it means that he could have or should have done more to get people to help, to sway others to his side. To him, the exchange of payment for services is more than just a transaction. If you refuse payment it's kind of an insult to his honor.
To put it another way, if you did a favor for a fae, they would owe you. They don't like being in debt to people. I once tried to get away with that in a realm full of fae back on the First, and I almost started a riot because they wouldn't accept my help at all... They absolutely have to give you payment for services rendered. It's sacred to them, almost as if it's written in their very nature.
[There's a sort of darkness in Amal's eyes, a distance, as he glances off to the side.]
There's another reason, too. And that is... when certain people learn who is humble and trying to do the right thing, they'll see you as a mark. A gullible hero who they can manipulate into doing their bidding. They'll string you along with reassurances that you're doing the right thing, it's just a little bit further, and further, and further... And then you realize too late that you're someone's little puppet and you can't escape. You may not be out there slaying dragons, but you're brilliant and clever and very talented. There's no doubt someone else would take advantage of you wanting to do the right thing.
I... just don't want your guilty conscience to lead you down the same path I took.
no subject
He knows Amal is speaking the absolute truth. That he's found the core of the issue for the whole Gil Problem, something Varian hadn't even put two and two together with to make four. He frowns, looking down into his tea, cupping it in his hands. ]
He told me he was upset that no one had helped when Sampo asked for it first. And he's right... there was so much going on, but that- that shouldn't be an excuse for him not being helped. Even if things are at their worst, it... it feels terrible to know you need help and no one even stops to give you a second glance.
[He knows that first hand. He knows exactly what it feels like to go onto your hands and knees and plead, beg for help in a life-or-death situation and to have everyone turn away. The fact he was one of those people this time around is eating at him, it has a tight grip on his heart and it hurts. He swore he'd never be one of those people. That he'd help however he could, whenever he could. And in this, he has failed, and now Sampo's life is in the balance. ]
I understand why he threw money at it now. I do... and I accepted it. Jun convinced me it would be for the best, especially if I didn't use it for just me. That... helped.
[ Which is why he was coming to Amal in the first place. But what Amal says next causes his shoulders to tighten. There's no doubt someone else would take advantage of you wanting to do the right thing. His lips tighten to a thin line, his knuckles whitening as he grips the cup a little too tightly. He remembers Andrew. He'll never forget Andrew. How he whispered sweet promises of friendship and understanding when Varian was at his absolute lowest. How he said he understood and that Varian was no longer alone, when he felt more alone than he ever had in his life.
And then as soon as he'd created something he couldn't undo, Andrew snapped that up, and the entire kingdom was nearly razed to nothing because of that. Varian nearly gave his life for that mistake - would have done if Rapunzel hadn't stopped him. He didn't want to bumble himself into that again. He'd learned to be distrustful about who he let in. He didn't trust people easily at all.
...But trust doesn't always equate into being manipulated. He'd missed that. He lets out a long, slow, shaky breath, trying to find some calm again, trying to banish the spectre of Andrew from his mind.]
...I didn't think of it like that. I don't- I don't want that to happen again. [Gil isn't a problem, but he could well have been. Any of the number of people Varian stumbles over himself to help could have been and he just... didn't think of it. ] I'm sorry. I thought I was getting smarter about that.
no subject
Oh... you did? Good. That's a relief. Hahah, and here I thought you came to yell at me...
[He sets his cup down on the coffee table, and then wraps his arms around Varian's tight, worried shoulders.]
It's all right. It hasn't happened again, and I'm not scolding you. You haven't done anything wrong. I just... I worry about you. I worry about people taking advantage of you when I'm not around to stop it. I know Jun wouldn't let that happen, but I'm your dad. I'm going to worry no matter what. So, ah, I'm sorry for that.
no subject
What? No. I- I didn't come to yell at you. That's... you probably did the right thing there. He would have found something eventually. At least I can use this.
[ The rest of The Cubes will have questionable use, but that's a problem for future Varian!
His smile softens as Amal gives him a hug, and he quickly returns it. It takes him a moment to centre himself again - so he just rests his forehead against Amal's chest, taking in a few, deep breaths. No matter how big the ghosts of his past loomed sometimes, he knew he'd always be safe with Amal. He doesn't know what he did to deserve Amal in his life, but he's glad for it every day.]
I know... I really appreciate it a lot. You don't have to be sorry for worrying about me. It's... it's really nice.
[ Ah... but talking about Jun, he clears his throat. ]
Uh... actually, I should probably... I wanted to talk to you about something else. Preferably before the gossip train got to you and everything got out of hand. [ Okay, he can do this. He pulls back, clearing his throat. ] I uh- I wanna preface this that this is not happening for years yet! Like... after we finished school years from now. But me and Jun have been talking about getting married one day, and we know you and his dad would probably want a big, fancy wedding, so I took the money to save towards that. And kinda... slipped up that that was what it was for.
no subject
[While Varian centers himself, Amal gently runs his fingertips through his dark hair.]
I won't apologize anymore, then.
[He lets Varian pull back slightly, sensing the topic is changing and he needs a little space. But nothing could have prepared him for what comes out of Varian's mouth.]
You—
[His amber eyes grow huge.]
You're getting married?! Oh. Oh my gods. My baby's getting married! I'm going to be a father-in-law! [He grabs Varian by the shoulders for a moment, then cups his cheeks.] I'm so happy for you both. Even if you're only promised for now, that's still something to celebrate! I need to have Jun over for dinner more often now, and Abel too—
Wait, so... that's what this is about? You thought Gilgamesh would ruin the surprise? Awwww... hahah, you're so cute!
no subject
Thanks, Dad, I'll definitely need it. The HOA are gonna have kittens if we keep piling it on the front yard. I know you love fighting them and everything, but they'd be a lot better where I can actually work with them.
[ Oh boy. That's sure loud. A soft little laugh escapes him. He doesn't realise how nervous he was about this until he'd spoken it into the world. ]
Hah... I'm glad you're happy about it. And yeah, sure! It's a while away yet, we're pretty sure, but we wanna be smart about it, too, y'know? We're both gonna live a long time, so we don't have to rush. And yeah, I'm sure they'll both love to come around for your food. It's good!
[ He blushes a little, clearing his throat awkwardly. ]
I just... thought that was something you needed to hear from me, y'know. It's important.
no subject
[Of course he'd love some kittens, but that's Amal for you. Anyway.]
Of course! You don't want to rush into anything. You'll know when it's time. Maybe you'll plan it two weeks in advance or maybe you'll just blurt it out, but whatever route you go, you'll know.
[Amal sure has a lot of faith in these two boys who rushed into everything else so far, but in his eyes, they've known each other a while. They didn't rush anything at all (and Amal doesn't want the details, no sir! he's good).]
It is. I'm so glad you told me and I didn't hear from someone else. [He gives Varian a little kiss on the forehead.] I would've been happy for you regardless, and probably played along since it's not the first time I've found out about a surprise, but it does mean a lot that you pulled me aside.
So! [PLANNING MODE: ENGAGED.] How do you want to celebrate? Maybe I could make something special and drop it off at Meropide so both you and your future fiancΓ© can enjoy it~
no subject
[Amal please. Varian isn't away nearly enough for you to start empty-nesting with kittens.]
Yeah, and we wanna make sure school's over and done with first, y'know? But yeah... I', pretty sure we will know when the time's right.
[They took two wholeass years to figure themselves out and get together. The rest was just... catching up. His smile gentles at the kiss pressed on his forehead. He'd been worried about this and in retrospect he doesn't know why. He knows Amal would always support him and respect his choices, but after so long certainly not getting that from Quirin this means more to him than he can put into words. He feels so seen and supported, which is all he's ever wanted. Amal means so much to him, and he's done it so effortlessly. Like it wasn't hard to love and appreciate Varian at all. Varian doesn't know how he does it. Sometimes he thinks it's a magic all of Amal's own making.]
Hah, I know you probably would have. But...but it felt right you heard it from me. I didn't want someone else stealing that particular thunder. I really wanted to be the one to tell you. You... you deserve that.
[Oh lordy and here comes the planning. He knew this was the gamble he would have to take. He and Jun both knew that. A laugh bubbles out of him. ]
I- I mean we didn't really think about it. A meal would be nice though? We do both love your food.
no subject
[He just loves animals. That's something that'll never change.
He may not have been there when Varian needed a dad growing up, but he's here now, and that's what matters.]
Hahah... well, I feel like the world's luckiest dad right now! Even though I know there's at least two of us. I'd better ask if Abel drinks. Maybe I'll get him some fancy wine.
[There is so much that needs to happen, but it can wait a little while.]
I'll whip something up and bring it by later. No pork, and not too spicy, yeah? I remember what he likes.
no subject
[ He's teasing, mostly. But you did kind of just scoop him up and bring him into your life as a feral little mess, Amal. ]
Well, I know I'm lucky to have you. You've done everything for me, so you deserve it. And you know, maybe? I'm sure you and Abel can have a lot to talk about. A part of me is scared about the chaos you'll wrought together, but given you'll be family eventually, that's just a risk me and Jun are gonna have to run.
[ The Dads are gonna get together and they are gonna be The Most Dads Ever. They know this. ]
Yeah that's right! Thanks Dad, I know he'd really appreciate it too.