[ As Amal talks, the panic that had been growing in Varian's chest eases. Oh, thank god, Gil clearly hadn't mentioned the wedding. His relief is quickly replaced with a tight, unhappy feeling in his chest.
He knows Amal is speaking the absolute truth. That he's found the core of the issue for the whole Gil Problem, something Varian hadn't even put two and two together with to make four. He frowns, looking down into his tea, cupping it in his hands. ]
He told me he was upset that no one had helped when Sampo asked for it first. And he's right... there was so much going on, but that- that shouldn't be an excuse for him not being helped. Even if things are at their worst, it... it feels terrible to know you need help and no one even stops to give you a second glance.
[He knows that first hand. He knows exactly what it feels like to go onto your hands and knees and plead, beg for help in a life-or-death situation and to have everyone turn away. The fact he was one of those people this time around is eating at him, it has a tight grip on his heart and it hurts. He swore he'd never be one of those people. That he'd help however he could, whenever he could. And in this, he has failed, and now Sampo's life is in the balance. ]
I understand why he threw money at it now. I do... and I accepted it. Jun convinced me it would be for the best, especially if I didn't use it for just me. That... helped.
[ Which is why he was coming to Amal in the first place. But what Amal says next causes his shoulders to tighten. There's no doubt someone else would take advantage of you wanting to do the right thing. His lips tighten to a thin line, his knuckles whitening as he grips the cup a little too tightly. He remembers Andrew. He'll never forget Andrew. How he whispered sweet promises of friendship and understanding when Varian was at his absolute lowest. How he said he understood and that Varian was no longer alone, when he felt more alone than he ever had in his life.
And then as soon as he'd created something he couldn't undo, Andrew snapped that up, and the entire kingdom was nearly razed to nothing because of that. Varian nearly gave his life for that mistake - would have done if Rapunzel hadn't stopped him. He didn't want to bumble himself into that again. He'd learned to be distrustful about who he let in. He didn't trust people easily at all.
...But trust doesn't always equate into being manipulated. He'd missed that. He lets out a long, slow, shaky breath, trying to find some calm again, trying to banish the spectre of Andrew from his mind.]
...I didn't think of it like that. I don't- I don't want that to happen again. [Gil isn't a problem, but he could well have been. Any of the number of people Varian stumbles over himself to help could have been and he just... didn't think of it. ] I'm sorry. I thought I was getting smarter about that.
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He knows Amal is speaking the absolute truth. That he's found the core of the issue for the whole Gil Problem, something Varian hadn't even put two and two together with to make four. He frowns, looking down into his tea, cupping it in his hands. ]
He told me he was upset that no one had helped when Sampo asked for it first. And he's right... there was so much going on, but that- that shouldn't be an excuse for him not being helped. Even if things are at their worst, it... it feels terrible to know you need help and no one even stops to give you a second glance.
[He knows that first hand. He knows exactly what it feels like to go onto your hands and knees and plead, beg for help in a life-or-death situation and to have everyone turn away. The fact he was one of those people this time around is eating at him, it has a tight grip on his heart and it hurts. He swore he'd never be one of those people. That he'd help however he could, whenever he could. And in this, he has failed, and now Sampo's life is in the balance. ]
I understand why he threw money at it now. I do... and I accepted it. Jun convinced me it would be for the best, especially if I didn't use it for just me. That... helped.
[ Which is why he was coming to Amal in the first place. But what Amal says next causes his shoulders to tighten. There's no doubt someone else would take advantage of you wanting to do the right thing. His lips tighten to a thin line, his knuckles whitening as he grips the cup a little too tightly. He remembers Andrew. He'll never forget Andrew. How he whispered sweet promises of friendship and understanding when Varian was at his absolute lowest. How he said he understood and that Varian was no longer alone, when he felt more alone than he ever had in his life.
And then as soon as he'd created something he couldn't undo, Andrew snapped that up, and the entire kingdom was nearly razed to nothing because of that. Varian nearly gave his life for that mistake - would have done if Rapunzel hadn't stopped him. He didn't want to bumble himself into that again. He'd learned to be distrustful about who he let in. He didn't trust people easily at all.
...But trust doesn't always equate into being manipulated. He'd missed that. He lets out a long, slow, shaky breath, trying to find some calm again, trying to banish the spectre of Andrew from his mind.]
...I didn't think of it like that. I don't- I don't want that to happen again. [Gil isn't a problem, but he could well have been. Any of the number of people Varian stumbles over himself to help could have been and he just... didn't think of it. ] I'm sorry. I thought I was getting smarter about that.